Ask Mr. A a question you have in mind and he'll do his best to answer. Be sure to include your first name and age.
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8.6.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I have a really big dilemma right now and I don't know what to do. There's this really big kid in my school. He bullies around other kids and he thinks he's so tough. I'm not saying this because I'm usually the victim but because its unfair to society. He always points out my imperfections. Why do people do things like that? They feel that just because they have a physical advantage over someone, they are superior..but thats bullshit!! Any helpful advice? (ps...and when i say advice I dont mean any of that "go kill yourself" and "you don't deserve to live" BS.), Mr. Anonymous (Mr.A) hahaha
Mr.Asshole,
Don't kill yourself. Let the bully do it you pathetic fuck. Your worthless if you got to ask me why people do it. Some say it's to boost their own self esteem. That's bullshit. They do it because they can. It's not a powertrip, but more so keeping the order of the rungs on the ladder. So in close you are a pathetic fuck. Peace I'm out like Eddie Jones
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8.6.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
wassup dood. ok just wanted to ask...if you meet a guy online and he's like a bajillion years older than you...lets say im 16(which i am) and he's 21. and he wants to take you round sum city you're not too familiar wit cuz you wanna havbe fun. Do you think there is a lot of a chance of gettin raped or sumthin? Sheryl, 16
Sheryl,
Are you blonde by any chance, or Polish perhaps?? Yea an online connection like that would probably not have a good outcome. If you need an online hook up then you are pretty damn sad and deserve to get killed or raped or some shit like that. In addition I must conclude that you are damn sad if you spell dude like this : "dood". In close, you are dumb and belong on the short school bus with the helmets. Peace I'm out like Larry Bird.
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8.6.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I got this real fetish for older women. I love for them to be around 60 or 70. The thing is that I'm only 23. Its not hard getting them to go for me but I feel that there is something wrong with this behavior. What do you think? I figured I'd ask you because you are the man. Jake, age 23
Jake,
Play on playa, syke. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't kill yourself. Your punishment is acting out your fetish. Be careful not to get charged with murder , keep in mind these old folks aren't into that wild sex stuff; I know from experience from your mom you fucking fag.
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7.25.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I got a real problem. I think it will become harmful to my health as well. What I like to do is buy whole chickens from the supermarket. Once I get them home I proceed to have sex with them. I just love the softness of their insides. Please help, John K, age 17
John,
EEEEEWWWWW. That's fucking sick you loser and fuck you for having me read this shit. My advice is to fucking kill yourself you scum bag piece of shit. Dorks like you should be killed at birth, no not even, your mom should be slapped for not having an abortion cause I know they must have known you were a retard when an abortion wasn't out of the question. I'm out like Tracey McGrady, Peace
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7.25.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I love your site. I visit it everyday. I love the pictures too. They are great and the photographer must have been a lucky girl. I'm wondering if you would like to meet me, and I promise to make it worth your while. I'll send you a private email with personal info later. With love Sarah, age 17
Sarah,
Not to let you down or anything but the online connection is for losers and definitley not for Mr. A. Sorry hun. - Mr. A
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7.25.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I am having a real problem with my co-workers. They all hate me. They call me fat, ugly, stupid, and always say that I wrestle alligators. Well, it is all true except for the alligator part. How can I be better capable of dealing with these co-workers that are making work really tough for me? Nichelle, age 40
Nichelle,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I bet you do look like you wrestle alligators. Well if you say you are really ugly, fat, and stupid then I guess you do deserve to be mocked you fucking skank whore. I do not even want to be bothered by retards like you. I bet you are a fucking dyke too you dumb salad tossing bitch. I'm out like them Mazda dealerships, Peace - Mr. A
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7.25.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
My best friend is a guy and I am like totally in love with him.. I have told him that I like him very much and I think he got the point.. he said that there was nothing he could do about it right now because he has a girlfriend.. Well my best friend chuck doesn't really like his girlfriend anymore and I think he wants me.. but he is afraid to break up with her.. what am I to do?? Anonymous
Anonymous (write your name/age next time!),
It all depends on what you want. You probably want to hear "follow your heart and you will be fine no matter what." You must know already that it doesn't work that way. Well, you can't do anything about Chuck's girlfriend, but if you really like this best friend of yours you should wait for him. It's up to you to feel out the situation. In your heart you must have some sort of idea of how special this best friend of yours is. So you decide. My advice would be to wait for this guy that you feel you are in love with. As far as him being your best friend now, that's a good thing as the best intimate relationships occur when the couple was first together as friends. Good luck, I'm out like Grant Hill on August 1st Peace. - Mr. A
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7.9.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
i have a big problem....my friends girlfriend cheated on him with another guy....no one is supposed to know...and i hate her guts...but do you think it would be wrong if i told my guyfriend his girl cheated???~~ jina- age 16
Jina,
You are in quite a situation. Well to be a good friend to your guy friend you should tell him so he isn't left out in the dark. Your feelings for this cheating girlfriend should not be a factor in your decision. However, I do want to warn you about killing the messenger. Your guy friend may be angry at you for being the bearer of bad news. So my advice is to first talk to the girlfriend and tell her she better tell him or else you will. If she doesn't than you should tell your guy friend out of respect for him. Good luck, I'm out like John Wallace, Peace - Mr. A
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7.9.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
Me have a question. Excuse my English. Me have problem. No girl like me, they is always refer to me KFC but me so popular and president of school. How I get them to like me?? Ben , age 17
Ben (KFC),
First learn to speak the language. Then worry about getting girls. My advice is to kill yourself you fucking loser. And Ken, stop writing the page you asshole and stop trying to cover it up by changing your name. See, we call you KFC with good reason - Mr. A
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7.9.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I have a serious problem. As a result of my height, or lack there of you can say I am proportionally small if you know what I mean. Is there anything you suggest to help me with my struggle? Enano, age 17
Enano,
You are a loser. Having a baby dick is like a disability. Consider yourself handicapped. Don?t worry about the girls though. They don?t usually go for dwarfs with needle dicks anyway. Peace, I?m out like Tim Duncan. - Mr. A
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7.5.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
Welcome back! I have missed your site. I used to read it daily. It always picked me up and cheered my day up. But what happened?? - James, age 18
James,
The hiatus was not really a wanted one, but it had to be taken. It occurred due to poor relations with a certain co-founder of hoching.com, he will remain anonymous. I will refer to him as dwarf. These issues have been resolved, and let me mention that physical violence is the not the answer (well it is sometimes). All that is in the past now and is inconsequential. What does matter is that Mr. A is back, meaner, tougher, bigger, and wittier than ever, and of course rocking the big A for attitude. So keep up to date with the new updates. Peace, I'm out like Shaft - Mr. A
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7.5.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I been looking for some help with dealing with some issues and luckily I have found your page. I think my girlfriend is cheating on me, but I am afraid to really find out because I don't want to deal with loosing her. What should I do? - TED, age 15
Ted,
What are you retarded?? Did this bitch snatch your self-esteem from you or what?? You are fucking pathetic to even be thinking about that shit. You better find out because you could just be buggin' and nothing may be going on. However, she may be cheating on you, maybe with me you pathetic fuck - so you got to dump the bitch. You know how Mr. A feels about trifling bitches: you just got to get rid of them and put them in their place. It also wouldn't be a bad idea to catch whomever she's cheating on you with and take him out Bklyn style. Peace, I?m out like San Antonio in round one. - Mr. A
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7.5.2000
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Dear Mr. A,
I got a real problem with dealing with my crazy 'rents. I have low self-esteem because I am on the heavy and not too bright side. As a result my parents and everyone else just walk all over me. I would appreciate some advice as to how I could stand up to everyone better. Thanks a lot. - Frank Y., age 17
Fat Frank,
You are just a big fat pussy. Kill yourself. Oh yea, everyone else that knows this loser keep him under your thumb so he never even thinks about rebelling. There are levels. The fat fucks must be kept on their own, ya heard?? Peace, I?m out like Grant Hill with a broken leg. - Mr. A
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